IMHO, the best thing to come out of this political season (entertainment-wise, that is) has to be this sketch from Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update Thursday.  It’s a pretty big deal to get Will Ferrell back on the show, and this was brilliant!  Enjoy…

One of the rules in my house growing up was that we were required to write thank you notes for all of our birthday and Christmas gifts before we could fully enjoy them.  It was a simple lesson in gratitude and etiquette that I’ve tried to continue even in my adult life.  “When people do nice things for you, the appropriate response is a heart-felt thank you.” Mom couldn’t have been more right not that I’m surprised by that.

After I finally dragged my butt out of my big comfy bed on Sunday morning, I (like a kid on Christmas morning) couldn’t wait to open my gifts and read what my guest bloggers had written for me while I was away.  Four of my closest friends in their own way and voice presented me (and all of you) with the simple gift of a different perspective than you get to see around here. Yet, what amazed me was that somehow each of them had missed the memo that they were doing me a favor.  Here I am asking for their time… for their words and thoughts… and they’re the honored ones?  The ones who are panicked?  Who feel privileged?  I’m the one who was overwhelmed with your generosity.  Who was moved by your willingness to put your lives on hold to help me out.  Who needs to be screamin’ from the rooftops, “THANK YOU!!!”  I truly adore each of you.  Thank you, thank you, thank you, and a special thank you for keeping this place pink.

Cory, as usual, made me laugh as he confessed his epic failures to the ‘Pink Nation’. (I have a feeling his panic at forgetting to post was what caused the extreme amount of WoW jargon.) Lauren, of course, was Lauren.  So lovable and genuine that you want to sip cups of coffee with her and see how she brightens your day.  HeatherBee, my musical soulmate, let’s take another road trip together.  We could load up our iPods and open our souls to one another with each rhythm and rhymes.  What do you say?  Eric, well you did spice things up about with your willingness to touch a subject I’ve left alone for months, but to be honest, I never expected to be called out on my own blog.

Over and over for the past few months I’ve been reciting the line to Mr. Blues and others that I’m ‘waiting’ for the debates to decide who gets my vote.  Honestly, that was BS; he was right.  My mind’s been made up for quite sometime, but I’ve been subconsciously holding out for a miracle.  I’ve never once had an issue believing what I believe, and for any of you who know me, I never hesitate to let my voice be heard.  But lately, I’ve felt like the lone kid on the block who knows that Santa Claus isn’t real.  I’ve been begging to be swept away and be a part of the excitement that has infected so many of my generation, and that’s just not going to happen.

It’s time for me to be honest with myself and quit hoping the rulebook will be rewritten and I’ll wind up at the popular kids’ table. Despite our differences, the teenage-like peer pressure to hang with the cool kids, and our preconceived notions of what red and blue voters look like, I have to hope for a middle ground that allows excitement to pair up with wise decisions where stiff Conservatives dance with spry Liberals even if I won’t be sitting on Santa’s lap this November.  So, while I’ll never be a political pundit, I will stop being a liar when it comes to my choices and beliefs. Who knew that a simple guest blogging task could unearth such hidden revelations.  Thanks, EB, and thanks to each and every one of you for being so kind to these four who mean so much to me (now I’m sounding like JM.)

Forest Gump was right when he said Presidential elections are like a box of chocolates. You really don’t know what you’ll get. Regardless, I’ve been an avid election follower since Carter’s nomination. I learned about pretty words, big lies, and plain folks sales tactics by adolescence. My political core was being formed even though I was unable to vote or voice an experienced opinion. And for the record, that core never understood all the fuss about Carter’s brown turtlenecks.

The actual election was a special treat. Mom let me stay up to watch. Those were the good old days when you knew who the President would be the same night the election was held. I would await the results like a child struggling to sleep on Christmas Eve. But like a carefully wrapped gift, the true contents of the nominees are often hard to discern by shaking the box. In the case of Presidential nominees, that old practice can be downright dangerous. “Johnny, put down that box. You’ll tear the wrapping; it’s the same paper that’s been used for the last eight years.” “Cindy, be careful dear, there’s only a little tape and hope holding that one together.”

In fact, when the entire nose pinching, eyes shut, lever pulling procedure is over, the four-year results often turn out quite differently than planned. Darn! Choose again. Maybe you’ll get the chocolate covered-cherry this time. Knowing whomever wins will only deliver 3% of what was promised dulls the pain. But in the spirit of wishful thinking, I’d like to make a few requests for the next election.

1. 1. Let’s call a lie a lie, and those who tell lies, liars. Obfuscation, disengenious, dissembling, and mischaracterization will all be outlawed words. When a candidate says something that can be proven factually untrue (superfluous enough?) over and over again, let’s call him or her a liar. Scream it from the rooftops of hurricane flooded homes.
2. 2. A clearer distinction should be made between journalists and professional pundits. When a journalist can’t mention a candidate’s name without drooling or becoming visibly excited, kindly remove them from the public conversation. I expect cheerleaders to carry pom poms and wear short skirts, not Armani suits. When the entertainment factor begins to outweigh the education factor, programs should not be couched as news.
3. 3. Finally, reconsider the entire debate debacle. Both of the major parties had over 20 debates. With all those debates and over a year of steady campaigning, there are still numerous people who claim not to know the most rudimentary history or positions of the candidates, one nominee in particular. There’s enough blame to go around here. It can take a few tries for a candidate to establish the political narrative he or she is consistently comfortable with. Also, voters can be incredibly apathetic and dismissive of candidates they don’t like. Nonetheless, if the purpose of debates is to inform the public, there’s obviously room for improvement.

I could continue but truthfully, this is a futile exercise. We’re in for a carnival from the day the news organizations pitch their tents until the last scrap of confetti is swept away. Media manipulate the candidates. Candidates manipulate the media. And we’re left to pick through the box of smashed chocolates, still hoping to find the one we really want.

Thanks to the Pink One for allowing me to guest blog.

Eric Blues

While I know it’s Thursday, I’m postponing this week’s musical post until tomorrow. Until then, I give you Stephen Colbert… the man I’d vote for for president.

I’m opening a big ol’ can of worms here, and I’m quite positive even if some of you don’t comment you’ll still be reading this and shaking your head at my slanted political views and lack of political respect. But screw it… I just have one important question I’d like answers to tonight. How is it Jon Stewart has the ability to make people seem so freakin’ cool? Take the next two clips of Presidential Candidate John McCain on Wed’s episode of The Daily Show. Yes, I know this is FAKE NEWS. No, I don’t care.

McCain is genuinely funny and seems to understand a simple fact most politicians get wrong: a large number of The Daily Show and Colbert Report viewers are not looking for a campaign speech or lecture on the virtues of one’s possible presidency. We watch to laugh. It’s that simple. Of course, McCain plugs himself. Yet, for any one who’s seen the other two candidates on fake news lately, McCain is a breath of fresh, humorous air. Despite the fact that deep down you know he’s taking this presidency thing seriously… he has fun with Stewart and plays along. I mean he chooses Dwight K. Schrute for his running mate. Did he not see last week’s episode of The Office?!?! Dwight is an unstable power-hungry leader. Honestly, Dwight’s Emergency Take-over chart reminds me of another famous second-in-command, but that’s just a coincidence, right?

Now the sad thing in this whole election year is many in my generation look to Colbert and Stewart for real news. Lately, we’ve stopped confidently deciding our views on our own and have allowed ourselves to be swept up in punditry and flashing lights. Colbert and Stewart are at their best when they work together as a check-and -balance system of our nation, culture, and thought process. and a catalyst to our own research. Maybe I’ve got this all wrong, but let’s try something new as we move toward November. FoxNews, MSNBC and all your friends, do your job and hook us up with the facts. Stewart and Colbert, you just keep entertaining us, and hopefully, each one of us will decide who we are and what we believe and stand unwaveringly. Isn’t that the change we need?

Take a five minute stroll around campus and you’re bound to find something written in pastel chalk on the sidewalks. For the past few months someone or group (I really have no clue) has been leaving words of encouragement and uplifting sayings for all to experience. Being the sappy, feel-good girl that I am, I love the unassuming happiness scrawled out in bright colors on the cold slab. I was quite surprised to find today’s message to be not only of the political slant but in the opposite direction as one would assume in Flagstaff. By Monday something new will be there for all to see, but at the end of a long week, it’s nice to see that I’m not so alone.