Zac was here over a week ago, and I finally pulled some of the pictures from his visit of my camera to share with ya’ll. From the moment he arrived until the moment he left, it was an absolute joy to have him around and the party refused to stop. After our his great toilet debacle, we met up with the gang to head downtown for some Thai food on Saturday. I’m still relieved that any of us survived that lunch meal after our orders were all way spicier than normal. Jeff literally was red with sweat dripping down his face while my lips burned uncontrollably. After lunch, we all loaded up and went to see Role Models with Paul Rudd and Sean William Scott. If you get the chance to see it, GO! It’s hilarious! Joe left after the movie, and Jeff, Zac, Cory, Lauren and I headed to Jeff’s place to watch last week’s episode of The Office in HD. Jeff is convinced everything is funnier in HD; the rest of us are not so sure. After we had had our fills of Dwight and Andy (is that even possible?) we headed back to my place for dinner and The Strangers, a horror flick of Zac’s choosing. I’m not a huge horror movie fan, and I definitely am not a fan of my friends whispering and making plans to sneak in and scare me in the middle of the night. Why the heck did I give those guys keys to my apartment?!?!

Sunday morning Lauren, Jeff, Zac, and I headed off to church together and had the experience of a lifetime… “What’s Up With That“. Man, I love when people write their own songs. Jeff, Zac and I headed back to my place to watch the Pack lose to the Vikings and then headed off to play frisbee golf. First of all, Zac and I had never played before and had to have set a record of ‘trees hit with a disc’ in a single day. But despite the cold and wind, we had a killer time and laughed til we cried on more than one occasion. Lucky for us, we were able to finish our 18-hole outing before the FIRST SNOW OF THE YEAR happened. After the first few flurries fell the gang with Jeff’s gf, Liz, headed to Galaxy Dinner to grab some food and play ‘telephone’. Yeah, we really are 11 years old. Eventually, our lamer friends headed home and the rest of us headed off to Wal-Mart in search of gloves, snow shovels, and $5 movies.

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Today was a perfect Saturday with my best friend Lauren. Pedicures with the screaming Vietnamese ‘nail artist’. Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving. Running into an old friend and making his girlfriend jealous for no apparent reason. Perfection in day form. But the highlight of this day had to be the footie pajamas she bought and wore around my apartment for a good two hours. She blended in perfectly with the spare room’s decor, and I couldn’t help but be jealous of her comfort. Look how cute she is…

Then after about 90 minutes in the pajamas she must have had a heat stroke because the most random things started spewing from her mouth…

“My hair smells weird but not like my shampoo.”
“I’m starting to sweat…”
“Do I look like a frog?”
“These were a horrible plan. I hate socks!”

Yeah, that’s my best friend.

It wasn’t a long week.  It wasn’t a bad week.  It was just a strange week.  A few days ago, I was in love with the idea of having a day-off midweek, but the reality of it meant that I had two Mondays when most weeks one is more than enough.  Multiple hour-long interviews each day meant that work followed me home each night.

So on a Friday night with everything finally out of the way, the plan is simple, me-time.  Watch a chick flick or read a feel-good book.  Jam out to John Mayer and be in bed at 11.  If you feel like having a girl’s night in of your own (no matter your gender), hum with me to an oldie but a goodie, and be selfish enough to take some time for you. You’re worth it.

10.  Days off in the middle of the week

9.    New Music Tuesday

8.    A good book before bedtime

7.    Chiropractor appointments with my favorite sports fanatic doc

6.    Fratelliquillas, twice in one day

5.    Cute convertible gloves (in pink and black)

4.    Melted first snows

3.    New pairs of contacts (because three months might be too long to wear the old ones.)

2.    Working remote controls in every room of my apartment

1.    And most importantly, best friends (in all shapes and sizes)

It’s that time of year where my parents are beginning to ask me what I want for Christmas.  I’m tempted to ask for a pygmy hippo this year, but my dad will probably just say no because he’d just wind up having to take care of it at his house.  So maybe I’ll just buy him one, and all of our problems will be solved.

Life has been pretty freakin’ sweet as of late.  I’m not quite sure what’s been going on, but for the first time in a long time I feel like the dark clouds have begun to clear from the sky and follow someone else around.  Yes, yes, life hasn’t been that bad, but I have been in a slump. (Think batting .295 instead of .330 not October ‘08 Stock Market.)  It’s something I think I’ve been dealing well with for the most part.  Sure, there was that church thing awhile back and moving and leaving Cares.  Work hasn’t been 40 hours a week of bliss but more like 60 hours of juggling a feather, bowling ball, and screamin’ toddler at the same time, however life is still grand.

I think this upswing of happiness started months ago with all of the changes in my life, but I really began to feel and embrace it in the past two weeks.  It doesn’t help that I’ve had some pretty awesome times with friends to remind me of how great life can really be.  The pajama party with my munchkins was the perfect beginning to this friendapalooza.  Then, the very next day I was graced with the the humor and wisdom of JLo during a three hour rendezvous outside of Late For The Train downtown.  Caffeine and people watching sets the perfect backdrop for two old friends to catch up on a Sunday evening.

Monday was no slacker in the joy department as Lauren, Jeff and I headed down the mountain to spend an evening with Matty Nay.  The drive down was full of spastic twitter conversations about Albert Pujols and the Saved By The Bell cast, and Mr. Nathanson did not disappoint.  Of course, I am a lil sad that for the second time in a row he showed love to my accompanying cast and not me, but watching him call out Jeff aka beard boy for not singing along to ‘Take On Me’ was well worth the lack of love.  Tuesday marked the release of the Ryan Adams’ album and Jeff’s release party complete with a drama queen (not me this time!), dutiful boyfriend, drunk roommate (mint ice cream mojitos, ew!), and Arrested Development, while Wednesday and Thursday brought good times with great friends, the kind that make you feel like you belong.

Our dear friend Kyle (Mr. I’ll Never Talk To You After Graduation) blessed us with his presence on Friday and filled our evening with tales of the Border Patrol Academy while we munched on tacos and enchiladas.  (Oh, the irony!) Grey’s Anatomy and Ugly Betty completed our Halloween evening, and Saturday was full of a Battlestar Galactica marathon (don’t hate) and an afternoon with my favorite Flagstaff family and their unicow.  On Sunday morning, I sang in church for the first time in two years and found a spiritual home, while Sunday evening was spent playing ‘beauty shop’ as I cut Jeff’s hair and colored Lauren’s. Finally on Monday night, I crashed and slept for 11 hours to recover from all of the activities on my social calendar.

So needless to say, life has been fan-freakin-tastic, until today… or yesterday, since it’s 2am now.  Wednesday was a challenge from beginning to end, and for a reason I couldn’t quite comprehend for most of it, I was off.  The questions of ‘are you ok’, ‘what’s wrong’, ‘why are you emo’ could only be answered with ‘I don’t know’ or a lie of ‘I’m fine‘.  Some of the air in my happiness balloon had escaped, and I really couldn’t remember why.  Then somewhere within the few minutes of my drive home from work the shuffle mode of my iPod once again silenced me with a simple Lucinda Williams song, and without conscious thought my car drove past my apartment and headed away from the lights of Flagstaff.

Somewhere between the fifth and sixth time I listened to the song on repeat, my brain was able to finally put the puzzle pieces of this day’s happiness hiccup together and sort through what my heart was refusing to acknowledge and remember.  The older I get the more I realize that happiness is a choice.  We get to decide what and who affects us positively or negatively.  Ever the control freak, I’ve struggled too many times to keep my sad moments or sorrows in check until I’m alone, or even worse, I’ve lied straight to the face of those who love and care about me for fear of appearing weak.  I can’t promise that I’ll never be upset again or that I’ll never lie and say ‘I’m ok’ when I’m not, but I can promise this… if you ask me today ‘are you alright’ I’ll tell you of yesterday’s heartache and today’s happiness, and on the days where I can only tell you ‘I’m ok’ and you know it’s a lie, don’t stop asking, please?

Lucinda Williams - ‘Are You Alright?’

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Wow, 365 days ago I decided to begin a journey on this website that included making time each day to journal, rant, gush, or just talk through the happenings of my life.  Originally the goal was to write every day for the month of November, and once that ended I just couldn’t stop.  As I’ve read back over the past fews days at the highlights and struggles of this last year, I realize just how blessed I am to have an outlet for processing and documenting my little moments.

I’m sure to many the concept of blogging must be a lot like the musical encore, a desperate cry for attention and affirmation.  (Seriously, why do we even scream for the encore.  We know it’s gonna happen.)  Yet, for me even if everyone stopped reading my words on their computer screen, I don’t think I could cease writing.  Some of hardest days and saddest moments have been laid to rest here.  I’ve taken verbal snapshots of the best times of my life, so that they will never be forgotten.  Most importantly, I’ve found a home for me.  So as a new November begins this morning, I’m not going to make a huge pledge to post every day.  There’s just no need. Instead, I’m going to keep on expressing me and hope that a few of you might be touched, entertained or inspired along the way.