Yeah, I’m a few days behind in blogging, but the posts are almost completed and ready to publish. It’s just that I’ve have my favorite munchkins a bunch this weekend and with a 9 month old, it’s hard to write. Plus, I spent time doing things like this. What a doll….

I have very few rules when it comes to sharing my life here in this little space of mine. They aren’t brain-busters… but simple, logical, don’t scare your readers away or get fired rules.First, I don’t discuss work unless it’s fun and harmless. Next, I don’t name names when I’m upset and ranting even when I want to scream and point, “That’s the big, fat, meanie-head!!! They’re the ones that made me cry! Go poke them in the eye if you love me…” (Discreet and private finger-pointing is why email and texting were created.) Finally, I try to keep my love stalking obsession appreciation of John Mayer to a minimum. That, my friends, is what message boards, Local-83, Mayer-loving friends, and 15gbs of hard drive space are for. (Don’t judge. I’m sure you have deep, dark secrets. *cough* Taylor Swift *cough*)

But, today I plan on breaking rule #3. Please don’t think that I’m going to be gushing about ‘that pansy boy who’s written crappy songs like Your Body Is A Wonderland and Daughters and stop reading. Please? You might actually enjoy JM if you give him a chance and get past the fact you think he’s not your cup of tea (or your pissed that he’s dated Jessica Simpson and you haven’t). Anyway, back in December Mayer held his 1st Annual Holiday Charity Revue where he played music from his three musical incarnations: the bluesy John Mayer Trio, his ‘apr’ acoustic work, and jams with his full band. It was promised at the time that that night’s show would eventually make it to a dvd, and that simple fact took a way a bit of the pain I experienced when I decided not to sell my soul and take a road trip to LA to hear him play as John, John Mayer Trio, and John Mayer live.

Mayer released his first dvd Any Given Thursday back in the spring of 2003, and I distinctly remember watching it in wonder for the first time. This was back before Austin City Limits, Crossroads with Brad Paisley, Saturday Night Live, and the millions of youtube videos available today. I had a few live shows in digital format and hundreds of mp3s yet had never watched him play before. The AGT dvd began with standard Mayer acoustic songs like Back To You, 3×5, and City Love, but as track #5 started, I knew this was something new. “I’m not alone but I wish I was. Cause then I’d know I was down because I didn’t have a friend around to love me like they do right now.” I must have rewound that first phrase of Something’s Missing six times before I let the dvd play on. He continued with a cover of The Police’s Message In A Bottle, Stevie Ray Vaughan’s Lenny, a new intro to Why Georgia, and his typically quirky between song banter. Just when he’d lulled me into a groove of familiar songs, he started Covered In Rain.

As I think back on it, I realize that as I heard CIR for the first time it wasn’t the song itself that captured me but watching him perform it. I didn’t pick up on the raw reactions to a post-911 NYC in the lyrics or the continuation of City Love‘s story of Lydia in this first listen. Yet, ‘the second (about 2.5 mins in) the guitar solo began, this song demanded my attention and admiration. I grew up listening to my dad’s idea of guitar gods, but to me, this was different. Somehow in that 5 minute guitar solo a story was told… and the emotions caused by ‘the world getting colder’ found their canvas. CIR still ranks at the top of my favorite John Mayer songs, and the chance I had to watch him play it live is something I’ll never forget.

Needless to say, when his newest dvd (and 2-disc set!), Where The Light Is, is finally released on July 1st, there will be a copy in my hands as soon as possible. (Some of you may even be forced into watching it with me, and it won’t kill you. Call it your late birthday present to me. I promise not to sing too loud or squeal to much.) Seriously though, part of me is worried that my expectations are so high that I may ended up disappointed with the final product of that night back in December, but I just don’t see how that’s possible. He played Free Fallin and In Your Atmosphere… Steve Jordan, Pino Palladino… the band!!! How can that not be amazing?!?! Until then, I’ll wait patiently watching Any Given Thursday for the 92nd time (with the commentary on) and hope that when I finally get my hands on it, you’ll forgive me if that’s all I want to listen to (and talk about) for a while.

Any Given Thursday’s Covered In Rain

Where The Light Is trailer

I have a huge, loud mouth, and occasionally, I say/write things that I shouldn’t or haven’t complete thought out. I’ve said before I’m the Queen of Absolutes, and two weeks ago when I said, “Music is music, no matter the genre… instruments… or message”, I should have guessed that statement of musical faith would be tested. My latest foot-in-mouth challenge came from a blogging friend of mine who asked if I would consider swapping one of our favorite albums with each other to review. At the time, I didn’t see a flaw in this brilliant idea.

Ready to take on this new blogging adventure, I advised him that it would take me a few listens to feel comfortable in properly reviewing his recommendation. So last week, he gifted me with Freedom Call’s Eternity. Just by looking at the cd design with its long-haired foreigners gracing a video game-like backdrop, I knew that this was gonna be out of my usual musical vein. From the moment I pushed the disc into my car stereo, I felt as if I had been transported out of Flagstaff to some medieval battle with sorcerers and dragons. Please, don’t get me wrong… I’m not poking fun whatsoever of this cd. It was just thought out of the norm.

Categorized as positive metal or power metal Freedom’s Call might take a few listens to appreciate. Each song (when you can understand the lyrics… thank you very much, google!) doesn’t contain a ‘kill everyone or yourself’ messagel, but truly is dare I say… uplifting. As I listened to his pick I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to rock out to some of these songs on Guitar Hero or use them as the soundtrack to late-night WOW raiding.

Looped drums, synthesized brass, and guitar rifts that could lead to instant carpal tunnel form the backbone of this band’s sound, and at times they remind me of Queen. I kept waiting to hear Dracula say, “I vant to suck your blood” or there to be a women screaming in the backgroud. It was that dramatic. Kind of like, boy opera. All the angst, passion, and emotion of real opera… just a few more guitars, guttural yells, and Freddy Mercury-esque choir intros. Yet, even for a Josh Groban-lovin, Mmmmbop-singing girl like myself, I could and did learn to dig it. Will it become one of my staple albums? Probably not… Will it wind up on my iPod? There’s a good chance. Have I walked around humming it the past few days? Yessiree.

Freedom Call – Warriors

I don’t know about where you live but Saturdays at Walmart in Flagstaff are never a smart plan. However, this past weekend I found myself defying good sense and wandering through the Walmart music section to see if there might be something that would quench my never-ending thirst for new music. As I was thumbing through the haphazardly sorted cds I watched a teenager hand his friend a cd and emphatically say, “Listen to this. This was before all music sucked.” With a declaration like his, who could I not look to see what musical gem he was passing along. What I say was definitely not what I expected and I’m not sure what I found more interesting about this exchange… the grungy teenager who at 13 years-old could truly decipher what good music was or the fact the cd he passed on was Green Day’s Dookie from 1994. Despite the gut reaction to become my mother and lecture them about what good music truly was, I shook my head and kept digging.

That scene has played over and over again in my head for the past few days and I haven’t been able to shake the sorrow his view of music has left on my soul. I’m not going to debate the merit of Dookie or any of Green Day’s albums because my issue isn’t with this kid’s recommendation but what he said before he handed his friend the cd, “..before all music sucked.” Sure, we’re in a time without the revolutionary musicians like The Beatles, Elvis, Ray Charles, Aretha, and so many more we’ve all grown to idolize, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t any good music now. You just have to know where to look and what you enjoy. As long as there are humans with an innate need to be creative and express themselves, music will always prevail not as chaotic noise but purposeful sound.

So what’s your criteria for good music? Is it found on MTV or Top40 radio? Are you drawn toward lyrics, the melody, the beat, or a particular instrument? No matter who you are music should matter in a deeply personal way. Whether it evokes a memory, emotion, or thought you can’t quite say yourself, music longs to captivate you unlike any other medium. It begs for you to hum, sing-a-long, think, and feel. It reaches out and ties you to the rest of world because with every note and phrase you know someone else has at one time said or heard those exact, same words.

I’ve been claiming around these parts that music is my world and I couldn’t survive without my iPod, but haven’t regularly invited you into my musical world. A world strongly influenced by my mom playing the piano and singing to me and my dad sitting on his bed and sharing his old albums with me. It was the passion in their eyes and voices that caught my attention at first… that made me listen and search for who I was within those records and rhythms. Because I believe the best way to discover or even rediscover music is to pass it around, I’m going to share with you what has caught my musical attention each week on Thursday. So whether it’s a song, artist, album or playlist, take a moment to enjoy it. Good music is all around… you just have to stop and listen.

Remember back in junior high and high school when they handed out school agendas to teach you organizational skills? And then to make it even worse your teachers forced you to keep them updated with all of your homework assignments, projects, and tests and had the audacity to check it throughout the semester to make sure you were using it? Well, if you don’t I’m sure most of those of us who do would pat you on the back and let you know you dodged an educational bullet. However, I loved my agenda. I loved writing my daily activities and assignments and keeping them pretty and color-coded. I, especially, loved the thrill of getting to check out each entry as it was completed. Type A, much?

Nowadays, I carry around a bright pink Alife daily planner that within its 52 weekly pages contains my life. Sharpie scrawled notes of work projects and meetings, birthdays, social events, bill due dates, phone conversations, and personal goals are just the beginning of what this holy grail of Laurel holds. Today as I was updating the upcoming events that I needed to make sure I remembered and filling in the non-scheduled happenings of the past week, I realized that the square for this evening was blank. Blank squares are a rarity in my world, and I found myself pondering at work what I would fill this space with. Should I have dinner with a friend? See a movie? Was there something I needed to do that I had forgotten? But, what sounded best to me was a night of nothing. No tasks… no chores… no socializing… nothing.

So I headed home with nothingness on my brain. What a silly notion that was! Instead of nothing, I spent an hour making a birthday card with a neighborhood child for her mom and then spent an hour talking on the phone to one of my dearest friends. I did four loads of laundry and scrubbed my toilet and shower. I wrote in 12 various card for friends who were having birthdays, had been sick, or just needed a simple ‘hello’ and delivered them to the mailbox. I submitted my monthly CaresTeams reports and put together three ‘New Baby’ gift bags for new mothers in the apartment complex. I listened to and reviewed two albums for the FirstListen project, and now at 11:30 pm, I’m here with you. I don’t know about you but from now on I’m gonna make sure there’s something scheduled for each day because these nights of nothing are exhausting.

Life is funny. Five months ago when I started this blog-a-day adventure I struggled with what to say each day. I’ve been spell checking my life in front of you and finally feel as if I’ve lost my sea legs. Recently I’ve taken a few days to stop and reread my life, and I’ve realized I no longer struggle with my original ‘what-to-say’ burden. Instead, after 150+ days of welcoming you into my daily world, my issue is that I have so much to share that many times things I really want to say get tossed aside for spontaneous posts of the moment. It’s not as if they are any less important than what gets posted, but sometimes there aren’t enough hours in the day to diligently write like I’d like to. What a silly place to be… too busy living to write… but longing to share the joy in those busy moments with you.

My dad has joked with me for years that I’m the Queen of Absolutes. It’s always black or white with me, yes or no, right or wrong. I’m sure in real life and reading my thoughts here you’ve noticed that. Take music, for example. Songs are always the greatest songs ever. I’m pretty sure if you counted up how many times I’ve said ‘This is my favorite song’ I’d have about 4,584 favorite songs, and that won’t change anytime soon. I’m not just a loyal fan of my favorite sports teams catching the game highlights on Sports Center. I watch them in the moment with crossed fingers and a hoarse voice. Nothing in my life has ever been done on a small scale. I don’t know how to not live with arms stretched out wide. To give it everything and hold nothing back.

For me, life is meant to be treasured and experienced. I’m not suggesting that everyone should scale Everest or ditch reality to live in the rain forest. I’m sure to some I have too much passion. I’ve heard you say I’m larger than life, intimidating, too much to handle, but no one ever doubts where my heart is. Nothing in my life is frivolous or without meaning. You see, if you’re in my life… you’re a part of my life. And if you’re a part of my life… I care about you immensely and would offer you a ride, a helping hand, a hug or a kidney if you needed it. Even though I know we’re all unique, I don’t understand people who act as if they are ok being an island… living alone and letting no one in. Yes, I probably offer way more of myself than most think is smart. But, where is the joy in walking alone? Isn’t life supposed to be about the people and the experiences and not just existing?

What does all of this have to do with blogging??? To me, everything. This space isn’t one that is filled with a theme or a thought process. It’s me offering up my life and who I am. For the longest time I wondered if my blog had less value because I wasn’t talking about politics, world affairs, or some other ginormous topic. But being real here means instead of putting a belief or cause on the line for your ridicule or judgment, I’m putting something much more precious, me. So despite the days where I’m too exhausted to bring my A-game, I’m going to keep coming here and offering you a huge chunk of who I am. I’m going to say what I need to and share even if that means 2-3 posts in a single day. But most of all, I’m going to keep living big. Keep loving big even if that means losing and hurting big. I’m going to keep being me and giving everything I have because, in the end, being on the sidelines of my life will never be enough for me.

Zac is finally blogging. Be ready to sigh, roll your eyes, groan, and hopefully laugh.

So I’ve finally decided to ditch my host and move everything to a much happier, prettier webhosting service. If you’ve been getting errors when trying to access this site in the last two weeks, I apologize and am working hard to keep that from happening again. I plan on spending much of this weekend working to provide you a more stable reading environment, so if you have any issues or can’t access the site this weekend… sit tight. I promise I’m working on it.

ETA: The site is up and happy on its new server. Thanks to the few of you who offered advice and suggestions. I’m tickled pink we won’t be having an outage here… on to blogging!

Part of what keeps me focused and blogging each day has become those around me who, too, are working to find their own voice. The following sites are my favorites of blogging buddies in my support system. You should definitely check out their sites, and if you like what they have to say… make them one of your daily stops (or leave them a comment).

Paineful Admissions: Simply put, this is the anti-stupidity blog. There is no political leaning or propaganda. Instead, the author scours the news and poses the question “Seriously?!?!”

The Miseducation Of Lauren Hill: Maybe I’m biased because this girl is one of my best friends and my lil sister, but there’s wisdom beyond her years found here (and a few good laughs).

Ingrained Refrains: If I love music, this author LOVES music and shares her passion with her readers. It’s where I go when I need to find something to sing-a-long to.

Dark Ale: Brand-spanking new, this blog has the potential to help answer that ever-present question, “What movie should we watch tonight?”

BusyBee: From LOST spoilers to scrapbooking genius, this blog has something new to offer each and every day. Plus, she loves John Mayer. What a win-win situation!

Finally! The new site is up with a new design. My knowledge of PHP and CSS has grown leaps and bounds in the past 48 hours thanks to my coworkers. Plus, it’s pink, and that’s enough for me.

I’ve decided to start writing here and importing my old Xangas. It gives me a little more freedom in how I write and what I post. Plus the layout and url are all mine. My hope is to be diligent in posting. Keep checking back to see what’s going on in my world.