Even though I was feeling a bit better, I decided I needed more rest and probably shouldn’t expose the masses to whatever it was I have and missed work again today. Amazingly enough, my boss agreed, and I’ve spent most of the day drifting in and out of consciousness.  In between the countless naps, my favorite ‘educational’ device (the tv) taught mre quite a few lessons of life that I’d like to share.

*Falling asleep watching the Food Network but waking up to the SciFi channel might lead to a few moments of confusion.

*Kathy Lee Gifford is still obnoxious.

*Ina Garten (the Barefoot Contessa) is not just cooking and entertaining.  Nope, she actually is hosting orgies in the Hampton’s for the elderly, carpenters, and random tourists.

*For just $30 dollars you can buy a modified sandwich maker that allows you to make your own hot pockets.

*P Diddy had acne, too.

*I want Niecy Nash to come clean my house and soul.

*Metamucil and Mucinex are not the same thing.

*VH1 Classic is classically painful

*Toothpaste and Halls Mentho-lyptus do not mix.