Music is my life. Everything can be expressed, handled or just felt more deeply with the right chord or phrase. I have been blessed with some amazing friends and am still at that point where my life is an open book. If you’d like, stick around for a bit and help me write a few chapters…
Today is February 29th… leap day, and I’m supposed to be taking a break from my daily blogging. I’m supposed to do something different while I rest my voice and my fingers. So just as rare as this day is, I’m going to be vulnerable and talk about the cracks in my armor. I’ve never done this well, and therefore being as type-A as I am, I shy away from such discussions. Strength, to me, has always meant caring for those around me and never being a burden to their struggles. It’s meant being high maintenance but completely self-maintained… not crying when most would but bawling at something as trivial as Grey’s Anatomy because I’d rather be seen as silly than broken. Simply, it’s meant knowing your struggles and heartaches and never telling you mine.
That’s where this blog thing gets hard to do some days. Because no matter how open and honest I try to be here, I still find myself tucking away parts of me to remain hidden from the world. I was blog hopping earlier today (JAWS training can get a bit tedious) and was surprised to see so many bloggers who find this ability to be raw and honest with their readers. They rant about things I don’t dare speak about, and in some ways, I’m jealous. Since I began this journey there have been a handful of things I’ve longed to speak about on here, but I don’t… because I can’t bring myself to be that open and would hate to wound someone with my commentary on something they’ve done. I want to talk about the heartaches and letdowns I’ve suffered at the hands of others and the things I’ve learned about myself from them. I want to ask why I don’t matter enough. I want to question those people in my life who take more than they ever could give and refuse to pull their weight in our relationship and say goodbye to those who had to be pruned away. I have things to say about how I’m scared of getting older and sometimes wonder if I’m ever going to be good enough. Heck, I even want to talk about the taboo subjects of politics and religion. But I don’t.
As you can guess, this isn’t easy to confess. I’ve worked hard to have it all under control knowing full well I’d love someone to reach and help. Even as I write this, I silently wish that if you read this you don’t act with pity toward me or treat me as if I’m fragile. I don’t know if I could handle that. In a perfect world, each of us would always strive to be the kind of friend we desire others to be to us. Wouldn’t that solve so many of our heartaches and heal our hidden wounds? However, no one is perfect, and leap year is just a way for us to catch up with the sun. So tomorrow, we’ll go back to normalcy here and while there might be a few posts about the upcoming election or those conservative values of mine, I’ll speak of nothing but love for each of you because in the end… I love you, no matter what.
Since its beginning, I find myself sucked into every season of American Idol no matter how hard I try to resist. This season is no different, and while ‘America’s’ still whittling down the top 24 to 12, I’m waiting for the big stage to fall in love with a contestant (musically, that is). Unlike many people, I despise the audition weeks and hate watching random people make utter and complete fools of themselves. I just wanna hear them sing, see their song choice, and critique each performance. However, this ‘Hollywood Week’ performance stands out as one of my favorites of all times. It doesn’t hurt I love this song, and he’s an Arizona boy…
Two weeks ago, Lauren sent me a text message so filled with excitement I couldn’t help but be giddy with her… Ingrid Michaelson and Joshua Radin (by some small miracle) were coming to Flagstaff to play a show before they joined Sara Bareilles on the Hotel Cafe tour. I had desperately wanted to see the three of them in concert, but of course, Sara wasn’t coming to Arizona. Within minutes, tickets were purchased for less than the cost of one of their cd’s, and we felt like we had somehow scammed the system. Even though both Lauren and I had contracted the “WWNV” cold, we were not to be deterred last night as we bundled up and headed to the show. Surprisingly enough, there were less than a dozen people when we arrived at the door allowing us to score ourselves seats directly in front of Ingrid’s keyboard. By the time the show started, there were less than 200 people in one of the coziest venues I’d ever been to. (As you’ll be able to see from the videos I took last night, the lighting was horrible but, in all actuality, gave the show an almost friend’s basement-like kind of feel.)
After an awesome opener, Alexa Wilkinson, Ingrid took the stage and blew us away. Not only is this girl incredibly talented, she had the place laughing at her crazy antics and observations. From songs of her latest cd to crowd sing-a-longs of the theme to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, she had the crowd eating out of the palm of her hand.
Man, I love these two as if they really are my brother and sister. I had the joy of spending Friday night and Saturday lunch with them and their parents, and we all learned a few things. 1) Waitresses at Village Inn right before midnight aren’t happy people. 2) Pad Thai as spicy as they will make it does not clear your sinuses… just makes your lips burn. 3) Clarinets are sexy.
Friday night I had the chance to emerge from a four-day coma and attend the university’s annual jazz festival with my best friend, Sarah, and her parents. Sarah’s brother, Aaron, plays 2nd tenor sax in the jazz band and in the jazz combo group. I had had the chance to see him play before and was looking forward to a great night of jazz music with friends. To make the night even better, Randy Brecker, famed jazz trumpeter, would be be the guest artist for the night. Jazz Combo 1 took the stage first and as always they sounded great. Their set was capped off with an arrangment of Thom Yorke’s The Eraser that was seriously amazing. So many times when musicians tweak popular songs they fall short, but this was not the case. After the combo 1, the jazz band and Becker met musically on stage. Their thirteen song setlist left the crowd completely enthralled by the group’s talent but still wanting more. The great thing about having such a legend on stage with these kids was you couldn’t tell if Becker or the band was making the other sound better. If given the chance, go support your local jazz group. Your ears and soul will thank you.
It was the best of times; it was the worst of times. It was high school, and for each and everyone of us who endured these 3-5 years of our lives, it played a huge part in shaping who we are today… good or bad. My high school experience in some ways was no different than most except for one detail… size. You see, I attended the smallest public high school in Arizona. There were less than 120 students from kindergarten to 12th grade and a grand total of 40 high schoolers. My graduating class had six kids, and my five classmates had been together since kindergarten and were in some way related. This was not your average school. Everyone knew and had to get along with each other. There were no real cliques because there weren’t enough students to form them. To say the least, it was a tight-knit community, and every student (related or not) was intertwined.
So when I got the call today from my dad letting me know one of the guys I went to school with had died yesterday, it hit pretty close to home. I had been on the track team with him for three years, and he’d played on my dad’s basketball team for four. We had spent countless hours together, and I knew that was the case for every other kid who had gone to school with him. Everyone knew his name, and he knew theirs. We all hold a memory of who he was and how he touched our lives, and now everyone will come together to grieve this loss and comfort those he left behind. It isn’t an easy road that lays before this community, but as always, they’ll get through it together.
Yes, that’s what I’m calling this version of sickness brought to me from my family… the Willcox West Nile Virus. Of course, I know the symptoms don’t match, but since when has anything from Willcox been exactly what it was supposed to be.
Amidst yet another snow storm, I have both good and bad news regarding my health. I figured I needed to share because me being sick ranks right up there with Obama vs. Hilary and the new Britney law on Google’s Top 10 Searched items for the past week. So….
Bad News: My face still feels like someone has my sinuses in a vice grip and won’t let go. Oh, congestion… you are a heartless bitch.
Good News: My voice has returned. (Or is that bad news?) Nonetheless, I can speak again even if it’s strained and crackly. (That’s what she said.) (Ok, so TWSS doesn’t totally work here, but I really missed saying it and am out of practice. Sue me.)
I’m still downing the medication and countless ounces of orange juice and hope to be fully back to my old self by Monday. Cross your fingers for me. I’m getting tired of sleeping all day to the sounds of Dr. Phil reruns. (Man, can that ol’ boy put you to sleep in a hurry!)
Sorority Girl #1: Where’s everyone going for their big spring break bash?
Sorority Girl #2: I’m from T-town… ya know…Tucson. So, I’m going back there for spring break.
Sorority Girl #3: Well, I’m going to Scottsdale…
SG #2: Eh, Scottsdale is so hot.
SG #1: Not as hot as where I’m from…Vegas.
SG #3: Vegas isn’t hot.
SG #1: Um.. Vegas is like the hottest state. It’s hot as hell.
Yeah, that’s right. In case you missed the memo, Vegas is now a state… a state of the union not just a state of mind. I won’t tell you what sorority… but I bet you could guess.
We’re nearing the end of February, and it took my mom coming to town to finally take my Christmas decorations down. (She did it while I was in the shower.) Guess it’s probably time to take the lights outside down, but they are so pretty in the snow.
I don’t have much to say tonight because I literally have no voice. When I open my mouth to speak, I sound like an old dying man. It’s hot… I won’t lie. You should all be jealous. Heck, I’m jealous of me.
Because I spend most of my day at work talking and, clearly that was not going to happen, I called in sick and slept through most of today thanks to my old friend, Nyquil. I woke up just in time to witness the glory of tonight’s lunar eclipse and Shaq’s solar debut. Surprisingly enough, the weather men got one right, and when I opened the front door, there was a snowstorm blocking the eclipse. Maybe I wasn’t dreaming when I thought I heard thunder… or not. Then to add insult to injury, the Suns lost to… (gasp) the Lakers. Eventually, I gathered up enough strength to face the storm and run to the store for the essentials… juice and Ricola Natural Lemon Mint cough drops.
Sleep is calling and the medicine is kicking in again, so I’ll leave with this simple thought… Simply Orange juice is good. Simply Orange juice with Nyquil is much, much better!
After a month of DVR, I can’t remember what life was like without it. While I’m never home during primetime tv, there haven’t been any new episodes of my favorite shows due to the strike. So instead, I have been expanding my viewing pleasures with a few new favorites…
Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations – Culinary and culturally educational with a twist of sarcasm and bitterness.
Jon & Kate Plus Eight: 7 year-old twins and 3.5 year-old sextuplets who are beyond adorable, but it’s the parents that amaze me.
Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares: Oh, BBC… how did I live without you? Soooo much better and more intense than the tame US version.
My brother and parents are up in Flagstaff visiting me this weekend, even though they have all been more than a bit under the weather. This afternoon Zac stayed home to sleep while Mom and I allowed Dad to be our shopping chauffeur. Most of the time, my Dad looks completely pissed at the world, but for those of who truly know him… we know that’s just how his face always looks. (Love ya, Dad!) Despite this simple fact, he can spice up any family outing. For example, we had this conversation while he was trying on leprechaun hats at at JoAnn’s Fabrics.
Laurel:You are so ADD. Dad:Yeah and I use it as an excuse to walk away from people who are annoying me. (I think he meant me.) L:Way to exploit your ‘disease’, big guy. D: Hey, if I could I’d get a parking pass for it, I would.
No, wonder I love the guy so much.
Music is my life. Everything can be expressed, handled or just felt more deeply with the right chord or phrase. I have been blessed with some amazing friends and am still at that point where my life is an open book. If you’d like, stick around for a bit and help me write a few chapters…
