I’m working on the hunch no one is reading this so I’m gonna be honest with you. This day sucks. I woke up and it sucked from the moment my eyes opened. It has sucked in an undefinable, can’t explain to anyone what’s happening in my heart and head, wish I could just give up and crawl back in bed kind of way. I didn’t tell any one of the thirty people I saw today that I felt empty inside, instead I prayed when they looked at me and my smile that they wouldn’t see the sorrow. Hoped that my laugh didn’t sound hollow.

As if nature was a reflection of me, it rained all day. Part of me wants to just go sit out in the rain. Let it pour over me and cleanse me from the outside in. At least I have a lonely office and an iPod that loves me enough to bring the right songs up on shuffle with the minimal number of skips. I know tomorrow will be better, right? Sleep, hot showers, cups of tea, and singing at the top of my lungs will be my miracle drug tonight. I just wish I didn’t have to be such an addict.