D’Oh…
July 28th, 2007



I’m working on the hunch no one is reading this so I’m gonna be honest with you. This day sucks. I woke up and it sucked from the moment my eyes opened. It has sucked in an undefinable, can’t explain to anyone what’s happening in my heart and head, wish I could just give up and crawl back in bed kind of way. I didn’t tell any one of the thirty people I saw today that I felt empty inside, instead I prayed when they looked at me and my smile that they wouldn’t see the sorrow. Hoped that my laugh didn’t sound hollow.
As if nature was a reflection of me, it rained all day. Part of me wants to just go sit out in the rain. Let it pour over me and cleanse me from the outside in. At least I have a lonely office and an iPod that loves me enough to bring the right songs up on shuffle with the minimal number of skips. I know tomorrow will be better, right? Sleep, hot showers, cups of tea, and singing at the top of my lungs will be my miracle drug tonight. I just wish I didn’t have to be such an addict.
So one of my new musical loves is Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. Thought I’d share some of her stuff with you…
Grace Potter: Apologies – Click to Listen
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Grace Potter and the Nocturnals: Treat Me Right
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Lauren posted this as a myspace blog recently and it inspired me to ponder what I would say if given the chance to those in my life. Here’s how it works.
**Choose 15 people who you want to say something to but will probably never actually do it. Don’t put their names**
Here it goes:
1) I miss you. I miss who we used to be. I know things can’t be that way again, and I’m sorry. Sorry for anything you might have perceived as hurtful. Sorry you couldn’t live the life. I hope you find what you’re looking for. But more than anything, I hope you find Him.
2) I’m sorry I wasn’t there in the end. Immaturity leads to selfishness and if I could do it all over again I would have been there every possible moment. I hope you can forgive me. I forgive you. I know that all of that wasn’t who you really were. I know you loved me and my family. I love you. I see so much of you in me and hope you’re proud of all of us. But most of all, I miss you. Miss our friendship. Miss knowing that even if the whole world is against me, you were in my corner. Thank you. Click To Continue Reading…
He claims he’s laughing…

But it’s truly painful when the Mom’s get involved. I can only imagine what’s going through my father’s head as he watches on.

And it’s Rena – for the win…
