I had lunch today with Heather. It was the first time we had eaten lunch together or spent any time together since saying ‘goodbye’ at the airport in Chicago the day after Marilee’s funeral. We had relied so heavily upon each other for three months and then all of a sudden we were on two separate continents. She had separated herself because her grief and I separated myself for survival. Three months of being disconnected… three months of work frustrations overruling friendship needs and wants. Three months of ups and downs and life changes that somehow have to be prioritized into things we need to talk about today and things that can wait. If we would have stayed caught with each other there would be no ‘are we still friends?’ or ‘who is this person?’ worries, but we didn’t. Did we need Marilee to work? Did we need that middle ground? Could we survive without talking about her? Was the pain still too raw to say her name? I knew my answers… but didn’t know hers or ours.

So we silently drove to Frisco St. Grille, a favorite of the three of us and a haven during Marilee’s illness. Natalie sat us and surprisingly enough, we found ourselves easing into conversation. We caught up on each other’s lives and began to find our way back to each other. It was simple; no work frustrations were mentioned. No wounds were brought up. It was as if a clean slate had been presented to enough. Enough of a clean slate to allow us to cross over the bridge and begin a Marilee-less friendship. When it was all over, we set-up a date to regularly scheduled lunch for us. Not based out of emotional need but want. What we talked about wasn’t relevant. All that was was that we had talked because that is what I had missed most…. talking.